Alzheimer’s Care: Understanding and Supporting Someone You Love
At four o’clock most afternoons, a woman in Pereybère begins asking when she is going home.
She is sitting in the house she has lived in for thirty-two years.
Her daughter used to answer by explaining this. She would point to the photographs, remind her when they moved in, name the neighbours, and eventually become frustrated because none of it worked. Her mother became more frightened, not less.
Now she answers differently. “You’re safe here. I’m staying with you.” Then they make tea.
Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease involves many practical things, but one of the hardest lessons is this: the person you love may experience the same room, conversation or afternoon very differently from you. Supporting them is often less about correcting that experience than understanding what they may be feeling inside it.
Alzheimer’s is dementia, but dementia is not always Alzheimer’s
Dementia is an umbrella term for conditions that cause a decline in memory, thinking, communication and the ability to manage everyday life. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of dementia worldwide.
That distinction matters because families often use the two words interchangeably. Someone can have dementia caused by Alzheimer’s disease, vascular disease or another condition, and some people have more than one type.
If your family is still at the stage of wondering whether the changes you are seeing are dementia at all, start with our article on the early signs of dementia in an elderly parent. This article begins after that point. It is about living with an Alzheimer’s diagnosis and making ordinary days work as well as they can.
The person is still there
Memory loss is the symptom everybody expects. The harder part for families is discovering how much else can change.
A person with Alzheimer’s may struggle to find words, follow a conversation, make decisions, recognise a place, understand what is happening around them or explain what is wrong. Later, they may need help with washing, dressing, eating, toileting and moving safely.
But a diagnosis does not erase a person overnight.
Your father may forget that you visited yesterday and still enjoy seeing you today. Your mother may no longer manage the recipe she cooked for forty years and still know exactly how the kitchen should smell. Someone who cannot tell you the name of a sega song may still tap a foot when it starts playing.
This is why good Alzheimer’s care should build care around what remains, not only what has been lost. Familiar music, food, prayer, gardening, folding washing, sitting on the verandah, walking to the gate or going to a familiar place of worship can continue to matter long after more complicated activities have become difficult.
Stop trying to win the facts
One of the most exhausting habits families fall into is correcting everything.
It is understandable. Your mother says her sister is coming for lunch, but her sister died fifteen years ago. Your instinct is to tell her. Your father says somebody stole his wallet, although you found it in a drawer. You explain where it was. He accuses the domestic worker again. You explain more firmly.
The problem is that Alzheimer’s can affect the person’s ability to use the information you are giving them. More facts do not necessarily resolve the fear.
Start instead with the feeling underneath the words. If someone says, “I want to go home,” the useful question may be whether they feel unsafe, tired or unsettled. If they believe something has been stolen, they may be frightened because an important object has disappeared from their understanding of the day.
Speak calmly. Use short sentences. Give one idea at a time. Allow longer for an answer. Ask a simple question rather than offering five choices. And do not talk about the person as if they are not in the room.
You will not get this right every time. Nobody does. The aim is not perfect communication. It is a conversation that leaves the person less distressed than when it began.
When the facts are no longer reassuring, answer the feeling underneath them. If your mother says she wants to go home when she is already home, proving where she is may not make her feel safer. “You’re safe here. I’m staying with you” may do far more. In Alzheimer’s care, reassurance can sometimes achieve what correction cannot.
Routine does more work than explanation
A predictable day reduces the number of things a person with Alzheimer’s has to work out from scratch.
Breakfast in the usual place. Medication at the usual time. The same chair. A shower before lunch rather than whenever somebody can fit it in. A familiar walk when the afternoon becomes restless. The same carer arriving on the same days.
This does not mean turning somebody’s life into an institutional timetable. Keep the routines they already had wherever possible. If your father has always sat outside with coffee at six in the morning, that is a better anchor than a new activity invented because he now has Alzheimer’s.
It also helps to simplify the environment quietly. Reduce clutter. Keep frequently used things where they have always been. Make the bathroom and walking routes safer. Avoid changing furniture unnecessarily. Good lighting matters, particularly later in the day when shadows and reflections can be confusing.
For families living overseas, routine has another advantage: it gives you something concrete to discuss with the person providing care. “How was Mum today?” produces a vague answer. “Did she eat breakfast, walk outside, rest after lunch and become unsettled before dinner?” tells you much more.
A printable Medication Record can keep the current medicines, doses and prescribing details in one place for family and carers. Keep it up to date with the treating clinician; it is a shared reference, not a reason to change medicines yourself.
When behaviour changes, ask what changed first
Agitation, pacing, repeated questions, suspicion, shouting or refusing care can all occur with Alzheimer’s. Families understandably describe these as behaviour problems. It is often more useful to treat them as information.
Something may be too noisy. The person may be tired, hungry, thirsty, constipated, in pain or frightened. They may not understand what a carer is asking them to do. A new medication may be affecting them. The room may simply contain too many people talking at once.
Look for patterns before assuming the disease has suddenly become worse.
A sudden or rapidly changing confusion is different. If someone with Alzheimer’s becomes markedly more confused, drowsy, agitated or unlike themselves over hours or a few days, contact a doctor promptly. Infection, dehydration, pain and medication problems can cause acute confusion in an older person and should not simply be written off as “the Alzheimer’s”.
For planned reviews, a printable Medical Appointment Record helps the family note changes, questions and the clinician’s advice while they are fresh. It is especially useful when the person attending the appointment is not the relative coordinating care from overseas.
Safety changes as the illness changes
The difficult balance is protecting somebody without taking away every part of their independence too early.
A person in the earlier stages may still make tea, garden, walk nearby and spend time alone safely. Later, the gas hob, medication, driving, stairs or leaving the house alone may become risks. There is no single moment when every freedom should stop.
Review safety as abilities change. Pay particular attention to falls, medication mistakes, cooking, doors and gates, getting lost, and whether the person can summon help. If wandering or getting lost has become possible, make sure there is a reliable way for someone who finds them to identify them and contact family.
Start with our thirty-minute home assessment, then use the printable Home Safety Checklist for a room-by-room review. A printable Emergency Contact Sheet by the phone and with the care plan gives carers and neighbours the right numbers quickly. Review both as needs change.
In Mauritius there are also ordinary local details worth thinking about: an unlocked gate onto a busy road, a slippery tiled verandah after rain, a gas cylinder and hob that were once managed without thought, or a parent who has walked to the same shop in Goodlands for twenty years but can no longer reliably find the way back.
The goal is not a house with no risk. Nobody lives in one. It is a home in which the risks have been thought about before they become the reason for a crisis.
Care usually has to grow
Alzheimer’s is progressive, so an arrangement that works now may not be enough in a year, or even in a few months. That does not mean starting with the maximum amount of care.
Early on, support might be companionship, meals, outings, medication reminders and somebody noticing changes. Later it may include personal care, more supervision during the day, help at night or eventually continuous support.
Continuity becomes increasingly important as the disease progresses. A familiar carer does not have to be reintroduced from the beginning at every visit. They learn the person’s routines, the words they use, what settles them, what tends to upset them and what a good day looks like.
That knowledge is difficult to put on a care plan, but it is often the difference between care that merely completes tasks and care that actually works.
The family needs care too
Alzheimer’s changes a family gradually. A husband becomes the person checking every door. A daughter starts arranging her day around medication and meals. A son in London calls twice a day because he is frightened of what might happen between calls. Nobody announces that they have become a caregiver. It simply accumulates.
That is why asking for help before exhaustion matters.
In Mauritius, the Association Alzheimer & Dementia Mauritius provides information and support for people living with dementia and their families, as well as caregiver training and multidisciplinary services. It is worth knowing about even if most care is being provided at home by family.
Professional home care can take over some of the work without taking over the family. A carer can handle the repetitive, practical parts of the day while a daughter remains a daughter, a husband remains a husband and grandchildren can still arrive simply to visit.
There will still be difficult days. Alzheimer’s care is not made easy by the right routine, the right words or the right carer. But it can become calmer, safer and less lonely when the family stops trying to solve every part of it alone.
This article is part of The Mauritius Guide to Caring for an Elderly Parent at Home, our free guide for families across the island. See the full guide.
Talk to Homebird
Homebird is a professional in-home care agency serving families across Northern Mauritius. If someone you love is living with Alzheimer’s and the family is finding that the current arrangement is no longer enough, we are glad to talk through what is happening and what kind of support might help. No obligation, no pressure.
WhatsApp or call: +230 5811 8335
Email: hello@homebird.mu
Care that feels like family.
This article is for general information and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Alzheimer’s disease should be assessed and managed with appropriate healthcare professionals. Seek prompt medical advice for sudden or rapidly worsening confusion, major changes in behaviour, new weakness, a fall with injury, or any other acute change that concerns you.