The first time she helped her mother wash, neither of them said anything at all. Personal care is the part families dread most, and the difficulty is usually not the washing. It is who is doing it.

A man in Triolet stopped washing every day rather than let his daughter help him. He would tell you he is independent. He has also not seen his friends since March. What independence actually means in later life, and why help can return it rather than take it.