She said no. Not angrily, which would almost be easier. Why families lose this argument by making the case better, what to say instead, and what you can still do if the answer stays no.

It is one of the hardest decisions a family makes, and it usually arrives at a difficult moment. A parent has a fall. A diagnosis lands. Someone asks the question everyone has been dreading: should we look at a care home, or can we keep her at home? Here is an honest comparison to help you decide, without pretending one is always better.